Most people don't know about the lab work we have to do in our profession. Fortunately, I've never been zapped by a malfunctioning enknowledgetron; sadly, despite what you read in the comics, in real life such a thing is usually lethal and never grants super-powers.
And don't post about nearly enough of the things that I find. I follow slacktivist, and enjoy reading his discussion of the Left Behind books, which he's blogging so nobody else ever has to read them (a noble sacrifice on his part). This project has produced a lot of amusing material; here's a little comedy which he was apparently inspired to assemble based on the latest chunk of text:
PASSENGER 2: Say what's that you're reading? Is that the Bible?
PASSENGER 1: What? Oh. Oh, yes. It's the Bible. ... I'm sorry, I've got a lot of reading to finish here and I just wanted to ...
PASSENGER 2: Oh sure, sure. No problem. Sorry.
P2: Sorry, I know you're trying to read, but I couldn't help but notice your lapel pin. That little fish, that's like a Christian thing, right? Like a "born-again" thing?
P1: Yes. The fish is a Christian symbol. Yes. Now, I'm sorry, but do you mind? (gestures back at the book)
P2: Oh right, sure. Sorry.
P2: So how's that work, anyway? Getting "born again"?
P1: Look, really, I don't mean to be rude, but I'd really just like to sit here quietly and read until we get to ...
P2: Hey, that's cool! I didn't notice that before.
P1: Excuse me?
P2: Your T-shirt! It looks just like a Budweiser T-shirt, but I just realized it actually says, "Be Wiser" -- oh, and instead of "King of Beers" it says "King of Kings!" Cool. I guess that means Jesus, right? And that I'd be wiser if I ... Hey, wow! Are those gospel tracts in your bag? Can I have one of those?
P1: Oh for God's sake! Why do I always end up next to you people?
Hmmm. I wear black a lot and occasionally try to dress well, but I rarely succeed and besides, despite my neo-positivist inclinations, I also read Nietzsche. There seems to be something to this hypothesis. Perhaps yet another reason we should bemoan the abandonment of the project of Carnap's Aufbau of locating a phenomenal basis for clothing; physicalist theories have not produced attractive results.
I'd like to contribute to the fund to prevent Fafnir and Giblets from starving to death or dying from preventable ailments (the Medium Lobster is, of course, above such petty concerns as food and health care). However, I am presently a bit unemployed myself, so all I can do is direct any more prosperous readers I might have to the wonderful opportunity to get a tote bag. Or at least something that looks like a tote bag. Maybe with adequate health care, the boys will feel well enough to join the Battlestar Galactica viewing tonight.